ABC Guide to Leah and Alistair
by Stephycats7785
Summary: The ABC guide to the relationship between Leah Clearwater and Alistair.
1. Chapter 1

Title: ABC Guide to Leah and Alistair  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Leah Clearwater/Alistair  
Summary: The ABC guide to the relationship between Leah and Alistair.  
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from the Twilight Saga!  
AN: I got a request from Brankel1 who wanted a Leah and Alistair story so I decided to do an ABC guide to them since people seem to like my ABC guide stories. This will be a three part like some of the others due to health issues and personal matters.

A- Alistair. What kind of name was Alistair? To Leah Clearwater it sounded like the name of a rock band. She knew a lot of people with odd names for this time period, but when Carlisle and Esme introduced her to the nomad vampire, the first thing which caught her attention was his odd name and not the fact he was a bloodsucker and not like the Cullen family who dined on Bambi's mother or some other helpless animal.

In true Leah fashion, words just spilled out of her mouth before she could stop to think about it beforehand. "What drugs were your parents on when they named you Alistair?"

B- Birth. "The birth of the half child is going to be the death of us all." A smooth silky voice sounded from somewhere behind the she-wolf and she whirled around to see the dirty blond vampire looking down at her from much higher branch. "As a shifter I do not understand how you could have allowed this to happen."

Leah glared up at him while at the same time wishing he were on the ground so she could look him straight in the eye. "You know, for someone who is supposed to be 'not a people person,' you sure are a nosy parasite. I'll have you know I wanted to kill the spawn before it was born, but I had two choices in front of me; I could either stay in the main pack with my ex and a bunch of guys who hated me, or I could join Jake and my brother to help protect the Cullen family and I took the lesser of two evils. When you meet Sam then you will understand. I'd face the Volturi everyday if it meant I didn't have to see his face or hear his voice."

C- Caballing. Jacob wasn't he liked the odd friendship Leah had with Carlisles old friend Alistair. They were always standing together in a far corner whispering who knows what and it kind of freaked Jake out. He was supposed to be Leah's best friend and then this leech comes in to the picture and the alpha wolf wouldn't be surprised if they were caballing against everyone else; after all it was something the female shifter excelled at.

D- Djinn. "If you could be any other mythical creature, what would you be and why?" It was Alistair who asked the question and it was probably the most he had spoken to any since arriving. He tended to open up more when around Leah and that was saying a lot to anyone who knew him on a personal level.

"I think I would want to be a Djinn." She replied from her position on a large boulder where she had been reading. The great thing about Alistair was the fact he didn't force her to talk if she didn't want to do so; they could be perfectly content just sitting in silence for hours. "The Djin is probably the only mythical creature Hollywood has to screw up. I could influence people for good or evil and I would get to grant wishes, which would be fun for me because I know I could find a way to totally screw up every single wish in some way or another."

The male vampire smirked. "You are devious and evil Leah Clearwater."

"Oh, I know that already, but thanks for the compliment." She replied with a smirk of her own.

E- Elegy. Leah had fallen asleep on afternoon letting the sun warm her body while she slumbered and Alistair noticed she had left the journal she was always writing in open. He knew reading it would an invasion of her privacy and yet he couldn't seem to stop himself. He had to know if she was writing about him and if yes, then what had she written?

Moving slowly so to be sure he did not wake the female shifter, he slid the small book from her hand. To his surprise it was not a journal, but rather a book of poetry. He skimmed a few pages and realized the poetry had an air of elegy to it. While she may not show it on the outside, through her writing he could tell she was a very emotional person and at this time in her life those emotions were not exactly happy fluffy bunny thoughts. Glancing at Leah and sliding the book of poetry back in to her hand, he silent vowed to do what he could to make her life better. His inner compass was pulling him towards her, letting Alistair know this is where he needed to be for the time being.

F- Facula. The first time Alistair told Leah the true depth of his feelings for her, she had no idea what he was talking about. "Leah, you are the facula in my life. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone, but then you came along and-"

"Hold up one second." She interrupted while at the same time pulling out her phone and using the dictionary it had to look up the word 'facula' and as soon as she got the meaning memorized, she put her phone back in her pocket and smiled slightly. "That's probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me before, but in the future you may want to use words common for this century or our entire relationship will consist of my head lost in the pages of a dictionary. If you need an example then instead of saying what you said, you should have said, "Leah, oh awesome shifter you are, you are the sun to my moon and the stars to my sky. Anyways, if you substitute my name for yours, well I feel the same as you do."

G- Gin. "What's your poison?" Alistair asked once they entered the club full of humans. "Obviously they don't sell my brand here, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy a good drink in case we die at the hands of the Volturi in two days time."

Her eyebrow rose as she let out a deep sigh. "Well since you seduced with your words of death, get me a gin, better make that the bottle and not just a shot glass because I want to get drunk and you're going to help me achieve that goal. You better not try to take advantage of my drunken state either because if you do, I'll bite your head off once I am sober again."

TBC...

Please R&R like always!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!

H- Hex. Alistair had been on a hunt with Emmett and Edward Cullen, but mid hunt something told him he should get back home to his wife. She was up to something; he could feel it almost as if he could read her mind or see future events unfolding in front of his eyes. Over the years he had come to see that whenever he felt he must find his wife, the pull towards her was slightly different depending on her mood or what she was doing at that time. this time he could tell she was up to something devious and if he didn't stop her then she would probably end up getting herself in trouble as she had been known to do in the past.

Once he finally made it back to the small cottage he and Leah called home, he found his wife in the living room with a pile of magazines, torn pieces of fabric, buttons, sewing needles, a different sized knives, both hunting and kitchen knives, scattered around her as she busily continued to cut out certain pictures or words from the magazine. "Do I even want to ask what you're doing?"

The she-wolf paused in her task to look up and smile brightly, yet deviously, at her undead vampire husband. "I got bored while you were hunting and so I decided I wanted to put a hex on something and make a voodoo doll. You don't have to worry about me hexing you. I tried a couple of times whenever you pissed me off, but it had no effect on you and I think that's because you're the living, blood drinking, kind of dead. Since I couldn't hex you, I decided I was going to hex Sam and now that I stop to think about it, I have no idea why I didn't try this years ago."

I- Imporous. When Leah finally was able to start college, she had taken a refresher course in english and grammar before she started her more advanced classes. At first she hated the class, but then she started learning words she had never heard before and some could be used as insults or used to make whoever she was targeting feel stupid for not knowing the meaning. The female shifter used to hate people who did stuff like that, but now she was starting to see the appeal; it was like a drug.

Today she had chosen her brooding fiancee as her target. "I never really understood the appeal women had for all you guys with imporous skin until I met you."

Alistair closed the book he had been reading while at the same time tilting his head to the side. He knew what she was trying to do and two could play that game. "I never thought I would meet someone as scurrilous as you love."

When the love of his existence turned to leave the room, he thought maybe she had taken it the wrong way. "Where are you going? My intention was not-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "I have to go find a dictionary and if I find out you just insulted me then it would be in your best interest to be gone by the time I come back."

By the time Leah did head back in to the room after looking up the word scurrilous, her fiancee had fled the scene.

J- Jackleg. "I don't wanna and you can't force me!" Leah whined with a pout as she glared up at Alistair who was trying to get her to study for a history test. "Why do I have to learn about history anyways? It has no effect on my life."

Her dirty blonde boyfriend sighed before running his fingers in his hair. "Do we have to go over this yet again? You need to study for this test because you wouldn't want your teacher to think you were doing only jackleg work would you?"

K- Krypton. "If you could live on any planet in the galaxy which would you choose?" The only female shape shifter shot the question in the direction of her boyfriend. Ever since finding out she was pregnant and with a high risk pregnancy at that, Alistair had kept her confined to the house and wouldn't let her do anything if it was something someone else could do for her. to banish her boredom she had come up with the idea of bombarding the male vampire with silly questions.

"Krypton." He replied with the first name that popped up in his mind.

Leah scoffed and rolled her eyes. "That's not a real planet."

Once again Alistair stated the first thing that came to mind. "How do you know it's not a real planet?"

"I know because there has never been a shred of proof proving otherwise." She countered thinking she had won and not knowing he had one more trick up his sleeve to win this argument.

"Before I became a vampire there had been no solid proof they existed and yet here I am as living proof to the fact they do indeed exist. When you can bring me proof that it doesn't exist out there somewhere then we will have this conversation again, but until then, well, I win."

L- Limnetic. On the five year anniversary of her fathers death, Leah had wandered off in to the woods until she found a small pond her father used to take her fishing. For hours she sat there in silence until she felt her fiancee approaching from behind her. She never removed her gaze from the water, not even when she spoke softly. "My dad used to bring me here all the time when I was younger. It was our secret spot and not even my brother knew about this place. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to be limnetic like the fish that call this pond home. I wonder what it would be like to live under the water without a care in the world?"

Her fiancee said nothing and instead wrapped his arms around her from behind and continued to hold her as she cried out her loss until late evening and then he carried her sleeping form home wishing there were some way he could take her pain on as his own so she would not have to live with it.

M- Madworts. Gardening was the only thing Leah was allowed to do during her pregnancy and the only reason her doctor had even allowed it was because she had first begged him and when that didn't work she started calling him all hours of the night so she would have someone to talk to since she wasn't allowed out of bed and for the sake of his own sanity, the older man had given her permission to start a garden as long as she sat in a lawn chair every five to ten minutes for a half hour before starting again.

Since she hadn't been allowed to go shopping for seeds, she left that task to her fiancee Alistair and Esme Cullen. When they finally returned with three bags filled with a variety of different seeds, she frown slightly picking up a bag filled with seeds she didn't recognize. "Are you secret a potions master at Hogwarts? What on earth are Madworts?"

"You are thinking of Mugwart." Alistair told her with a laugh. "What you are holding are Madworts seeds and according to Esme, they are a type of mustard seed. You said you wanted a unique variety of plants in your garden so I thought you would like those. If anything, you can use them to scare of children on Halloween by telling them you are a witch and will poison them if they dare take your candy."

N- Nacre. Christmas morning Alistair had opened his gift which happened to be a nacre which was a type of ancient drum. He gave his wife a questioning look to which she answered with a deviously happy smile. "Carlisle told me you used to play one when you were human and since you're going to live forever I thought you might want to take it up once again."

O- Oecology. "Daddy, what does mommy do at her job?" Six year old Kyle Clearwater looked up at his father who was tucking him in since his mother had fed his younger sister Henrietta and fell asleep right after. Taking care of a six year old and newborn was taxing, especially since both were half vampire and half shape shifter. "Today in school the teacher told us tomorrow she wanted to know what our parents did for jobs. I know that you help find lost people and rescue them like a superhero, but when I asked mommy earlier she said she was a teacher of oecology, but I don't know what that is daddy."

The blonde vampire smiled at his son. "Well Kyle, your mother studies the science of how living things interact with the things around them. She is very smart and you should be proud of her, I know I am."

P- Paleobotany. Alistair was concerned about his wife. Ever since Henrietta had started school, she seemed restless and full of energy. Finally he knew he had to say something before she ended up going crazy; his wife needed something to do because she wasn't the type of person who could sit around doing nothing all day long.

"Leah my love," He started as took a seat on the love seat next to her. "You know I wouldn't be saying anything if I were not concerned, but I am and I think you need something to do in your spare time. I know you're used to taking care of the kids, but they are in school now and that frees up most of your day. With me working sixteen hours a day, well I think maybe you should find something to do that you want to do, but haven't had time for in the past. Have you thought about going back to school? I remember you mentioning it about a year after Henrietta was born. It's not like we don't have the money. What was it you wanted to study?"

"Paleobotany." She replied quickly before kissing him lightly and wrapping her arms around his neck. "The study of fossil plants and I cannot believe you remembered that. I love you Alistair, you always seem to know exactly what I need before I do."

TBC...

Please R&R like always!


	3. Chapter 3

Q- Questers. "You do know that you're only going camping for two days right?" Alistair was laughing lightly as he observed his fiancee and soon to be brother in law packing up a large amount of camping gear. In his his opinion had already packed enough to sufficiently supply ten people, but what did he know about camping? "The pair of you look like a couple of questers getting ready to go in search for the Fountain of Youth."

Leah narrowed her eyes at him. "Hey, it's better to be safe than sorry and you can talk big since you're all immortal and basically invincible, but if you were still human, well if you were still human then you would be in awe by my camping knowledge."

R- Rade. During her first pregnancy, Leah had been put on bed rest and that meant she couldn't go to her classes, but Alistair had been able to charm the teacher in to allowing him to take notes for her so she wouldn't have to drop the class. It seemed to be going pretty well until one day Leah was reading her notes and came across a word she did not recognize. She tried looking it up and yet she couldn't seem to find it.

"Alistair, what is r-a-d-e mean? You used it in my notes and I can't seem to find it anywhere and usually I would just skip that part, but its in a very important paragraph so I need to know the meaning." She questioned while pointing to the word on the paper.

"Oh, it is an old spelling of road and I didn't even realize I had written it that way. I guess I just fell in to old habits. It won't happen again I will made sure I check over everything before bringing you your notes." He felt like and idiot for making such an obvious human mistake. He was a vampire and therefore he was about grammar and spelling mistakes, or at least he thought he should be.

"Don't worry about it, I think it makes you more lovable knowing your not perfect and it gives me something to tease you about."

S- Smear. On Leah's birthday a surprise party had been held and in the middle of the party a food fight broke out when Alistair, who thought he was being cheeky, began to smear frosting all over her face. It was the first time in centuries he could recall having a genuinely fun time by acting so like a human.

T- Text. About six months in to their relationship, Leah decided that Alistair needed a cellphone. When he gave her a confused and questioning look after she handed it to him, Leah rolled her eyes. "It's a cellphone so that we can text and such."

"Text?" He questioned as his confusion only seemed to grow.

Leah rolled her eyes for a second time in less than a minute. "Wow, you really are behind the times aren't you? Well don't worry because I am making it my mission in life to fix that problem."

U- Uglify. One thing the she-wolf Leah Clearwater hated about her her relationship with Alistair was all the female attention he got even if he was somehow blind to it. Leah got male attention, but she always told them to get lost in creative ways, yet her boyfriend had no reaction to the woman who hit on him. She knew that in his defense he didn't react because he was not interested in them, but it still annoyed his girlfriend to no end. Leah wanted him to tell them off and say no woman could compare to her. Sure it was petty, but after Sam, well she was bound to have a little self doubt.

"You know, sometimes I wish I had the ability to uglify those girls who try to make a move on you." She grumbled while watching the teen girl at the movies get her popcorn.

Her vampire boyfriend tilted his head and gazed at her. "You know you have nothing to fear from those girls."

Leah's scowl deepened. "I do know that, but it doesn't mean I still don't wish i had the ability to to give them a big dose of ugly."

V- Vas. "How did your father die?" The question came from Alistair as he and Leah lay in bed together even though she was the only one who required sleep. "Seth told me the anniversary of his death was coming up and I realized you don;t talk about him much."

"Well he's dead so what is there to talk about?" The female shifter replied while at the same time rolling over so she faced her lover. "A vas in his heart exploded and before you ask, yes that means heart attack, but saying it like that makes it easier for me to deal with."

W- Wacke. "I am so faster!" Leah stood with her arms crossed as she scowled at her boyfriend.

"Sure you can." He told her with a smirk. 'If you have to say that to make yourself feel superior I understand completely."

The Quilette shifter scowled even deeper as her eyes darkened. "How about you put your money where your mouth is? First one to make it to the wacke across the yard wins and we can choose a prize after."

The blonde male nodded in agreement as he glanced at the boulder across the way. "You're on."

X- Xylan. It had been exactly one hundred years since Leah and Alistair married the day of their anniversary was also the day Leah Clearwater discovered the cure to cancer. "Xylan, I finally found what I was missing, its Xylan! Xylan is the key to curing cancer! Alistair, I just discovered the cure to cancer! To bad my mother isn't still around. She was always saying I'd never amount to anything and now I have proof proving how wrong she was all along. I found the freaking cure for cancer!""

Y- Yellowlegs. The first time Leah and Alistair slept together, had been deep in the forrest. After they were both thoroughly satisfied, the pair lay on the forrest floor watching different birds fly by, A small one with bright yellow legs actually swooped down and landed on Leah's still bare stomach.

"Do you know what kind of bird that is?" The usually silent vampire asked as he reached out slowly to run his finger along the birds feathers. "It's a Yellowlegs and it was once said that if a Yellowleg landed on you it meant you were considered a great warrior. You are very lucky Leah Clearwater. In the past thousands of soldiers would stand outside for days hoping to be blessed by this tiny creature."

Z- Zoon. "Did you know that an animal who only lays one egg at a time is called a zoon?" Alistair told Leah one cloudy afternoon as they took a walk together. Having had no idea what to talk about, he said the first random thought that came to mind.

The she-wolf laughed with a shake of her head. "Remind me to have you as a partner if we ever play 'trivial pursuit.' With you on my team we would never lose."

The end

Please R&R like always!


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